The Cold Hearted Alchemist
by Numb3r Se7en
Summary: There is yet another seriel killer on the loose, Nightmare. State Alchemist Longan Anderson and Private Ethan Miller must work together to track down this maniac and capture him, but will it be that simple? Please review.
1. Chapter 1

The Cold-Hearted Alchemist

Chapter 1

I watched Fullmetal Alchemist the other night and decided to write fanfic about it, so here it is!

It was eleven-thirty in the morning, and Ethan Miller was walking down a street in Central with his twin brother, Thomas.

Let me introduce these two guys. Ethan Miller was a twenty-seven-year-old man. He was lazy, shy, a perv, immature, and an idiot. His brother, on the other hand, was strong, hotheaded, and also an idiot. They were walking down a street in Central. "Where are you taking me?" asked Thomas.

"To a magical land," answered Ethan.

Thomas just stared blankly at him. "Seriously, where are we going?"

"I want to show you something."

Thomas sighed and followed his twin brother into a restaurant. "Why are we in here?"

"They have the best food here. I'm not kidding."

Thomas just stared at him. "That's seriously why you brought me here?"

They sat down at a table. "Actually, that's not the reason, but if I told you, you'd hit me."

"Oh, c-mon, I'm not going to hit you. What is it?"

A waitress with a rather big chest walked up to their table. "Can I take your order?" she asked.

Thomas glared at Ethan. Ethan smiled uncomfortably. Thomas leaned over the table and gave him a good, hard whack on the arm. Ethan yelped in pain before rubbing his bruise. "Told you you'd hit me."

"I don't have all day," the waitress said impatiently.

"I guess we can have an early lunch," Thomas said. "I'll have the ribs."

"And you?" the waitress asked as she turned to Ethan.

"A doctor," Ethan answered.

"Ok, so that's one order of ribs and a doctor," the waitress said as she wrote it down on her note pad. "It'll only be a second."

"Hurry back," Ethan wheezed.

"That's what you get for perving."

"Shut up."

* * *

><p>After about a minute, the waitress returned with a mountain of ribs on one plate, and a doll in a doctor's costume on the other. "One stack of ribs and one doctor," the waitress said as she smiled. "Enjoy!" She walked off to another table.<p>

"I can't believe the size of ribs they give you at this place!" Thomas exclaimed as his mouth watered at the sight of the meat.

"I can't believe she took a crummy joke this far," Ethan said as he prodded the doll with his fork. "Hey, Thoma-" Ethan stopped at the sight of his brother's empty plate filled with bones. "How did you…?"

"How did I what?" Thomas asked.

"Never mind."

After Thomas unbuttoned his pants and Ethan, out of spite, put the doll in his pocket, they headed out of the restaurant.

"I can't believe you ate a mountain of ribs in under three milliseconds!" Ethan said in amazement.

"I can't believe you didn't eat your doctor!" Thomas joked.

"Too chewy."

"I should probably get to work, though."

"What is it you do again?"

Thomas stopped, turned to face Ethan, and gave him a look like he was an idiot. "I'm in the military. I'm a Lance Corporal, remember?"

"I don't think you've ever told me this."

"I've been one for almost a year now!"

"Have you?" Ethan rubbed his chin. "I don't remember this."

They started chuckling as they started walking again. "I got to go. See you!"

"See you, Tom!" Tom began crossing the street, when he turned around and started walking backwards, waving. "Idiot."

"This just proves I'm-" Thomas stopped talking when his ribs became a part of the hood of a car.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Two years later…

Seventeen-year-old Emily ran around the corner into an alley. She had nowhere else to run. She spun around to see Nightmare pound her in the face with his fist. She fell to the ground. Nightmare wore a big, black cloak. Nightmare's nails grew and sharpened in the blink of an eye. He slashed at Emily as she rolled out of the way. The nails sliced her in the arm, and she screamed in pain. She quickly got up and ran for the fire escape. Nightmare jumped up into the air and landed right in front of her. He picked her up by the throat.

"Why are you doing this?" she wheezed.

Nightmare smiled. "Because I want to."

Marion Brown was a State Alchemist and had invited the now Private Ethan to lunch at her favourite restaurant in Central. "So, Major Brown," Ethan began, "why did you invite me to lunch?"

"As you know, there's a new serial killer on the loose," Brown said.

"Nightmare?"

"Yes, and we need you to catch him."

Ethan's eyes widened. "What!" he screeched. "I'm only a Private! Why not send a State Alchemist?"

"Oh, we are, but you're tagging along."

"Why do I have to go!"

"To make sure he doesn't kill him."

"Why don't you want him dead?"

"Because, the Führer wants to know how he can perform such powerful alchemy."

"Why send me to go with him, though? I can't even perform alchemy!" It's true. Ethan couldn't perform alchemy. No one knows why.

"I told you. You're just there to keep the alchemist from killing Nightmare."

Ethan's head and shoulders slumped. "Fine," he said reluctantly.

"Good."

"Who's the alchemist?"

"Logan Anderson, better known as The Cold-Hearted Alchemist."

Ethan jumped back. "But he's scarier than Nightmare!"

"That is true, but he's the only one who won't run away."

"Do I even have a choice?"

"Would you like one?"

"It would be nice."

"Too bad." Major Brown got up and walked for the door. "When you get any information, you'll report into Colonel Mustang. Oh, and by the way…" She turned to face Ethan. "Thanks for picking up the tab." She winked before walking out the door.

Ethan raised one eyebrow in confusion. The waitress came over and put a piece of paper on the table. Ethan fell forward and slammed his face on the table. "I can't believe the nerve of some people."

"You pay that when you're ready," the waitress said before walking off. Ethan sighed.

* * *

><p>After Ethan payed the bill and returned back to his apartment, he started walking for his bed. Then, he heard a knock at the door. He sighed, turned around, and walked back for the door. The knocking continued. "I'm coming! I'm coming!" He opened the door. There, standing in the hallway, was The Cold-Hearted Alchemist. Ethan screamed and slammed the door shut.<p>

"That was my nose, moron," Logan growled.

Ethan opened the door again. "What do you want?"

"I was assigned to track down Nightmare with you."

"Yeah, but it's so late!"

"It's two in the afternoon."

Logan pulled out his pocket watch and showed Ethan. "Shut up," Ethan grumbled with a frown.

Logan slipped the watch back in his pocket. "Now, come on, we got to go."

"How about this—you look for him and I'll hold down the fort."

"How about no?"

"I don't like that idea."

"Shame."

* * *

><p>Two minutes later, after Ethan 'fell down some stairs,' they made their way to, hey, wait a minute. "Where are we going?" asked Ethan.<p>

"To the last victim of Nightmare," Logan answered.

There was an awkward silence for a while.

_Oh,_ Logan thought, _how I love the stark beauty of silence. I hope it never—_

"So," Ethan interrupted, "why do they call you The Cold-Hearted Alchemist?"

_Well, it lasted longer than I thought it would. _"Because I can lower a persons body temperature below freezing point, forcing their heart to stop."

"Huh."

"Well," said Logan as he spun around to face Ethan, "that and I don't show mercy!" Ethan swallowed hard. "But mainly the first thing."

"Who do you think Nightmare is?"

"I don't like you."

Ethan's shoulders slumped. "Five minutes and I already feel like sh-"

"We're here."

Ethan looked around. They were in an alley full of police officers. "I don't get it."

Logan pointed to the fire escape on the side of an apartment building. There, on the bottom of it, was a teenage girl. Her arm was jammed between two of the grates, causing her to just hang there. Ethan gagged. "I warned you."

"No you didn't!"

"I know."

"Good afternoon, Mister Anderson," a police officer greeted.

"See? I told you it's the afternoon," Logan said.

"I know," Ethan sighed. "We've been over this."

The officer shifted his gaze between Ethan and Logan. "Right, anyway, we were wondering if you could-" Logan pushed past the officer and stood underneath the girl.

Ethan hurried along next to Logan. "So, what do you think?" Logan asked.

"I think she's dead," Ethan joked.

"That was funny. Oh, wait, no, the other thing. Idiotic. That's it."

Ethan sighed. "What do we hope to gain from just looking at the corpse?"

"She has claw marks on her arm."

"Oh."

"She looks like she'd been knocked around before he finished her off."

Ethan chuckled. Logan shot him a piercing stare. "Well, we should go."

Logan looked at him. "Why?

"I was told that whenever we get some new information, we have to report into Colonel Mustang."

"No."

Ethan raised one eyebrow in confusion. "What do you mean, no?"

"I mean no." Logan towered over Ethan.

"We were ordered to go."

"What are you going to do?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ethan and Logan soon arrived outside Colonel Mustang's office. Ethan had to handcuff Logan to get him there. Just as they were about to sit down, they heard Roy call out, "Come in!" Ethan and Logan sighed and entered the room. "Greetings, Private," Mustang said. "Logan." Logan growled. "Have you got any new information?" Mustang asked as he lent back in his chair.

"We've figured out that the girl had claw marks, sir," Ethan answered.

"Claw marks?"

"And it would seem that Nightmare likes to play with his prey before killing them."

Mustang chuckled. "Looks like we've got a real psycho on our hands."

"Looks it," Logan said.

Mustang raised one eyebrow. "Why are you handcuffed?"

"It was the only way to get him here," Ethan replied.

Roy smiled. "You don't like me, do you, Anderson?"

"No, sir. I don't," Logan answered with a smirk.

"Why is that?"

"Because, sir. You're a whiny, pervy, annoying ass."

Ethan's eyes widened. "S-sir! He didn't mean that!" Ethan explained.

"No, no. It's alright. Logan's just jealous. Aren't you, Anderson?" Logan clenched his fists. "You could never beat me, could you?" Logan looked at his feat. Mustang stood up and walked right up to Logan. "You always lost."

Logan punched Roy right in the face, causing him to fall to the ground. "You always were a gloater, weren't you, Roy?" Logan chuckled.

"Well, I did win, didn't I?" Mustang asked as he stood up.

Ethan stammered. "What are you talking about?"

"Roy, here, beat me in a game of chess one time, and he's been going on about it ever since," Logan answered.

Ethan's eyes widened. "THAT'S IT!" he screamed. "YOU LOST ONE MEASLY GAME OF CHESS TO HIM, SO YOU PUNCHED HIM DOWN!"

"Exactly."

"YOU IDIOTS!" Ethan punched both of them in the cheeks. They fell over onto the ground.

"Wow," Logan said rather impressed.

"You've got quite a punch, there, Private," Mustang said as he and Logan got up. Ethan panted. "Now that that's out of the way," Roy said. "I want you to go to Resembool. There's been a new murder there and we think it just might be Nightmare."

"How'd he get there so fast?" Ethan asked.

"We don't know, but we want you two to find out."

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"Kiss-ass," Logan grumbled.

"Now, normally we would pay for your tickets, but since Logan's going too, you have to pay," Roy said cheekily.

"What!" Logan and Ethan yelled in unison.

Ethan and Logan exited Mustangs office grumbling. "Stupid Mustang," Ethan muttered. "Makes us pay for our own tickets."

First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye passed by them. "Are you by any chance Logan Anderson?" Hawkeye asked Logan.

"Yeah," Logan answered.

Hawkeye uppercut him in the chin and he flew backwards onto the ground. "That's what you get for standing me up three years ago!" She walked into Mustangs office.

Ethan squatted down next to Logan's limp body. "What was that about?" he asked.

"I don't remember," Logan replied.

"C-mon, sleepy head," Ethan said as he helped Logan to his feet.

Hawkeye exited Mustang's office, kicked Logan in the crotch, dropped two tickets, and kept walking. Mustang had just been teasing about the tickets. Logan dropped back to the ground. "She must really not like you," Ethan said.

"Come here," Logan wheezed as he motioned Ethan to come closer. Ethan complied. Logan punched him in the crotch. Ethan dropped to the ground. "I don't like you."

"I don't like you, either."

After they sprawled on the ground for almost an hour, they picked up their tickets and walked to the train station. They hopped onto the train and sat down. "I love trains," Ethan sighed as the train started moving.

"I don't," Logan grumbled.

"You don't like anything."

"That's not true. I like money."

"Everyone likes money."

"Not true. People who don't like money don't like money."

Ethan just stared at Logan. "What?"

"Nothing. Go to sleep."

"It's six o'clock!"

"Now you care about how early it is?"

Ethan thought about that for a second. "True." They both leaned up against the wall and fell asleep.


End file.
